Friday, August 21, 2009

2nd month~

It is going to be second month after that particular day. haha. Time passed so fast!

It is also already 1 week past since the last time i contact with her. Because of some minor problem, we decided not to contact anymore. I do not know whether that is good or not. Wonder how is she now. Just know that she just finish her exam and she gonna go for the trip already..
Well, i cant do anything cause it is non of my business anymore although i know that myself still care about her.

Currently just finish the 1st week at Sunway University College. I like this school. haha! The life here were not as bad as i thought before. Will be busy for some moment. Glad that finally im used to it without contact her. Although i wanted so much to ask her about her current situation but i will not let myself do that because i think that the situation now without contacting each other is good for her and myself currently.

More and more premiere waiting for me, haha!
25 August - Kungfu Cyborg (机械侠)
1 September - Final Destionation 4
Looking forward to all this premiere! Thx Ron for always giving me free ticket to those premiere! hehe.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

生气我自己

我很气!
气我自己!
为什么那么多事?
说那么多有用吗?
管人家的事干嘛?
太的空没事做了是吗?
笨到死!
人家的事不需要你去担心,
不需要你多管闲事,
不需要你说什么,
因为都是没用的!
算了吧
别再去管人家的事了
管多了
对自己也没好处
真的很气我自己!!

Surprising

haha! once again i do not know i should be happy or sad today.

All of this started yesterday. Yesterday i receive a call from Ron asking me whether i wanna go for the movie - UP today and he said can bring 1 friend together with me. For sure i trying to find someone lo. I try to log in my msn to look for my friends and i saw her online-ing. Just for fun, i try to date her to the movie la. Why i said just for fun? It is because before this i did try to date her few times but ended up everytime also fail, haha. Surprisingly, she told me that she is going to the movie! For sure i feel happy la although i know it mean nothing, it is just a simple date between 2 friends.

Well, the date today started quite smooth. She managed to get back home earlier and so i can meet her up earlier! What is more is i managed to find to the way to Mid Valley Megamall! ahaha! For all the friends know me quite well, u all should know that i cant recognise road although i drive almost everyday. i did what i promise her that is treat her for dinner. We went to a japanese restaurant (Zenmai) for dinner cause i remember one of my friends recommend me to go there before. Too bad the food she ordered not so suit her taste. haha! I managed to chat with her and get some updates of her during the dinner.

After that, we just hang around the shopping mall to waste our time cause we have to wait till 9pm for that movie to start. Of course, UP is a disney cartoon and it not so suit my taste and therefore it is a quite boring movie for me. What make me excited is Ron tell me next week gonna watch "Laughing Gor"!! ahaha! After the movie, i send her back to her house and on the way we did chat. Throughout the chat, i can know that big posibility that she will go to Langkawi with that guy and honestly i am very worry about that. Deep in my heart, i wanted to tell her so much that i hope that she will not going to the trip but i know i cannot do that because i am nobody to her now, i am just a normal friend to her now! Furthermore, i promise myself something that do not let me to do that.

haha! i felt happy today because finally i managed to date her out with me alone again after 2 months i think, although last time i meet her is 1 month ago. But that time she is with her sister and she is not alone with me. Well, i felt sad because i can know that big posibility she is going to that trip. Thinking of asking her not to go but my position now do not let me do that. I also do not know what should i do now. Really very worry about her just that i do not know how to tell her all that. Even i did tell her all that, i think she also will not listen to me cause i am just a nobody to her! haha. I think what can i do is just pray for miracle to happen. Other than that, i really do not what should i do in order she will not going for that trip. Just pray hard that she will not go ba. hahaha! Maybe she will think that i very busy body but i do not care anymore. Just wanna to tell u, i still care about u and i hope u also will care about urself and do not let those that care about u dissappointed.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

给离去的你

今天,我终于看到了你的部落格
虽然看不到我想看的
但至少我知道了一些你从没亲口告诉过我的事情。

最近几天
我都有和你联络
也得知你最近的事情
知道说你今晚会和他出去
我当然不希望会发生
不过我很清楚我没那种资格
毕竟现在和以前不一样了
也知道说你很想他
可是你并不知道
每次你告诉我你在想他的时候
我有什么感受
当然我很希望现在的你会很开心
所以我并没告诉你我的心情
当你告诉我月尾你想跟他一起去Langkawi
我整个人真的傻了
我不知道为什么会那样
很想阻止
但却不能也没资格那样做

看了你的blog后
我发觉了说
其实你早在和我分手的那天
就和他在一起了
我还傻傻的一直试着去挽回
我也知道了说
你对他的感觉比你以前对我的感觉深多了
的确
到今天为止
我都还有想挽回的念头
但今天过后
我想那念头因该会被慢慢地放弃了
因为我知道说真的是没可能了

很高兴你曾经有想过和我到老
我也很对不起你
因为我骗了你
还记得你问过我谈恋爱时会不会以结婚为前提
我当时答你说不会
其实我在骗你
因为当时我怕太诚实会吓跑了你

真的很想你明白
你没必要去内疚些什么
你并没有错
我也没怪过你这样做
因为我明白我不是好人
也不值得你爱我
所以你别再说我很好了
也别再因为我而感到内疚
并不值得你为了我而内疚
也不值得你为了我而伤心

你真的教会了我一些东西
因为你
我真的很少骂粗口了
我也很少去咒人去死之类的话
因为你
我知道了其实爱情需要人陪
而不是各忙各的
因为你
我真的了解了什么叫珍惜
什么是别等到失去了才懂得珍惜

其实你让我做了很多我第一次做的事
第一次
我载自己的女朋友上课放学
第一次
为了等你放学
在你学校门口等了三小时
第一次
在一个月里
去了戏院至少四次
第一次
两个人去唱k
第一次
女朋友陪我过生日
第一次
去戏院看爱情片还是日本戏
而且还是整个戏院里只有四个人而已
第一次
想去哪里都会有人陪
第一次
有人吃东西时特地带了包纸巾去
因为他知道我容易流汗
第一次。。。
那么多的第一次
这应该是为什么我那么放不下你的原因吧

到现在我还在责怪我自己
当初
为什么我不会好好珍惜你
为什么我不疼你多一点
为什么我不紧张你多一点
为什么要学人家扮神秘
为什么不经常陪你
为什么我没尽力去满足你想要的
很多的为什么
都怪自己拥有的时候不会去珍惜
到了现在才会后悔
都已经没用了

虽然很不愿意
但是失去了你
已经是事实
怎样也改变不了
你已走了,变了
不管我怎样做还是改变不了
我答应你
我会做会在你心中以前的我
面对什么问题时都会笑着解决的我
我答应你
我会把对你的爱慢慢地藏进心里的最深处
你已经离开了
我也会学着慢慢离开
别再担心我
别再因我而感到内疚
因为我不是好人
不值得你那样做

反而是你
要过的开心点
要好好的照顾你自己
希望你从今以后
你每一天都会过的快快乐乐